Wednesday, 23 May 2018

21 things I would tell my younger self

Hi everyone! How are you all feeling? Today is actually my 21st birthday - I am so excited! For my birthday I wanted to do something special with regards to my blog. The idea for this post came a while ago when I was at a family dinner with my cousins and everyone was saying how much my cousin's daughter looks like me when I was younger! After a bit of brainstorming I decided to ask little Chloe if she wanted to take a couple of photos with me and she said yes! Today I will be sharing with you 21 things (I turned 21 get it haha?!) I would have told my younger self (i.e. Chloe!) .. get it? I know I'm a bit metaphoric and deep haha! Anyways, grab yourself a cup of tea or coffee and enjoy it! Let me know whether you liked this blogpost or not!

1. Heartbreaks are inevitable (or almost!)

There are certain things in life that you just cannot escape. Heartbreak is one of them! Your sixteen year old self meets a guy who is ''my soulmate and forever love'' and you fall deeply in love. And there's nothing wrong with that. I don't want to be the one to burst your bubble or sound negative, but honey chances are you'll breakup (not always but 99.9% it will happen) and it will hurt so much. You'll think that life is over but by time you'll learn to get over it and move on. It will teach you so many things and it will make you stronger! 

2. Listen to your inner child

Sometimes we get so caught up in this 'adult life' that we forget to have fun, to act like kids sometimes! Just because you're getting older doesn't mean you forget your inner child. If you're 21 and you want to go on that see-saw - go for it! I have a friend of mine and sometimes when we're stressed or just sad about something, we like to do something that reminds us of our childhood - whether playing Monopoly or going to the swings - it really does help us forget our worries, at least for a while!

3. Listen to your instincts

They're always right! If your instincts tell you that taking that particular decision is what is best for you then do it!

4. Don't let others tell you what you should do or what is right for you

I learned this not too long ago actually. Sometimes I get so caught up in making others happy that I forget that this is actually my life and not somebody else's. Do what you feel is right for you - deep down you'll know if you took the right decision or not. It's not their life to decide, it's yours - people are going to criticize you anyway so might as well do what makes you happy.

5. Form your own opinion about things & life

Don't let others tell you what to think about things. Form your own opinion. You're capable of so many things that you are not yet aware of. Challenge yourself, research about it, talk to someone about it - but never let anyone tell you what your opinion about something should be.

6. Explore & Travel

Obviously I was NOT going to leave this one out! Not everyone is going to agree with me on this but I would tell you - travel, travel and travel. Just buy that cheap flight to somewhere, anywhere and get on that plane. You'll learn so many things from it - different cultures, different traditions, how 'adult life' works but most importantly how to be independent. Even if no one wants to get on that plane with you; get out of your comfort zone and take a solo trip!

7. Find yourself - take time to get to know yourself 

In life we may go through phases that break us and tear us down. I'm not going to lie, it will be hard to re-build yourself and to find yourself again. One of the many amazing periods in my life was when I decided that I'm the one who decides if I'm happy or not and I was fed up of going to bed crying. That was when I decided to step outside my comfort zone and I did things that NEVER in a million years would I have dreamt of doing! I went zip lining (I still get chills thinking about it!), I went on a TV programme (if you know me you know that I am SUPER shy!), I pushed myself to try new things, I started going to contemporary which was something I had been wanting to do for a while but never had the courage to do so and the list goes on and on. It's okay to lose yourself in the process, the important thing is that at the end of it you would be an inch closer to being the best version of yourself that you possibly can.

8. Love yourself

This too I learnt recently! If you don't love yourself, how can anyone else love you? How can you love someone else? I saw this quote a couple of weeks ago and I really liked the way it summarizes everything: ''Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. When you love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, they can see self-esteem, and naturally, people gravitate towards you.''

9. It's okay to be single

When I was 17-20 years old I was amongst few of my friends that were single. Most of my closest friends were in a relationship. If you're with someone you truly love by that time, cheers to you! But if you're not, it's okay!! I have younger friends of mine (which basically have the same thoughts as I use to have - not going to lie!) and I can see by the way they talk to me they have this rush of having a significant other. Use that time to love yourself, to learn more about yourself, what you like/don't like in your partner, travel, explore, make new friends, try a new hobby. I can't even tell you how many things I've learnt about myself when I was going through this phase: I learnt that through dancing I can truly express myself, I learnt that I love being independent, I learnt that I love to travel - something about it just makes me excited! Once I read a quote that said ''Look for someone who compliments you not complete you. You're a whole on your own, you don't need anyone to complete you!'' 

10. Everything happens for a reason and everything will fall into place

You may question things about why and how they happened and you ask yourself over and over again where you went wrong or if things would be different if you had done something differently. Truth is, everything happens for a reason - don't question it, by time everything will fall into place. 

11. Time will heal

Whether it was the death of a close relative, a friend, a breakup or some sort of failure - time will heal, you just got to be patient!

12. Never miss a moment to tell someone you love them

Sometimes we take certain people for granted and for some reason we make them feel unloved and unwanted. I learnt this a couple of years ago - if you love someone MAKE SURE THEY KNOW IT!

13. Hold onto the people that matter 

Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. By time everyone will show their true colours so make sure you are holding on to the right people. You don't need any negativity in your life - let go of the people who never put you first!

14. Keep your promises

One of my best friends (hey Beverly!) once told me that to her a promise is everything. I used to tell her it's stupid to believe that, to believe in promises. Fast forward a couple of years, I actually think the same way she does now. When you're making a promise you're giving your word to someone that you're doing something - whether to meet up with them or to listen to them, whatever it is..a promise is a promise. It should never be broken and it should never be used to destroy another person.

15. Love unconditionally

I've never talked about religion or faith on my blog but when I was writing this blogpost I imediately thought of this verse when I arrived to loving unconditionally. This verse is from the bible and it's one of my favourite quotes that best describes love:

''Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.''

16. Step out of your comfort zone 

When we were shooting these photos Chloe asked me to push her on the swing. As I looked at her as she got way too excited that she was so high up in the air, it left me thinking about how scared I was to go on a swing when I was younger. A couple of falls later, I managed to do it! I know it sounds silly and stupid but my point is if I had never tried or if I had never failed I wouldn't have been able to go on that swing. What I am referring to here is our comfort zones. When we try out best to do something different, something unusual or something we have been wanting to do for a while; we feel so accomplished and slowly slowly we start getting out of our comfort zones when we eventually find the courage within us to do it!

17. Always put yourself first

I actually learnt this a couple of weeks ago. I mean, I knew it but I just never put it to use. People will always think of themselves before you - it's the harsh truth. Only a handful will put you before themselves, so treasure those few people and learn to always put yourself first - if YOU don't put yourself first, then who will?

18. Do what you love

Yes, I am referring to blogging amongst other things (from my perspective). Life is short and if we don't do what we love we'll end up living a boring and unhappy life. Do what you love! Whether it's dancing, hitting the gym, blogging, singing - whatever it is, if it brings you happiness and it makes you smile from cheek to cheek and it brings you satisfaction; then do it and forget what others think of it even if it's ''a waste of time'' !

19. Family over anything

Nobody is here to stay forever. I have to be honest with you, I get so scared and sad when I think too much about it but then again will it change anything? So might as well cherish the time we have with out loved ones and make sure that they know they are loved and appreciated. Spend time with your parents, siblings or nephews/nieces. Family should stick together and always be there for each other!

20. Get excited over the little things

Yes, I was copying Chloe's amazing modelling skills here! But seriously, I know so many people that are almost impossible to please. I've learnt to be happy with the little things. If you get a random 'I love you' text from your best friend, if you manage to do a difficult dance move, if you manage to finish all the tasks I planned to do during the day or if you manage to get my lazy self to go to the gym - every little thing is an accomplishment and you should get excited and happy that you've done it!

21. Be an example to others

I know sometimes it is difficult. But just imagine that you have a little brother or a little sister (even if you don't have!). Make sure that when they grow up they'll have someone to look up to and to be their inspiration!

That's it from my end! Hope you enjoyed it, I know it was something different. 

Have an amazing week and I'll talk to you in the next blogpost!

Deborah X

Photography: MCMifsud Photography

Chloe's Clothes: Debenhams Malta